Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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