Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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