Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
