I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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