yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
