I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I will be naked everywhere
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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