He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
