I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He felt like a one man threesome
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
did i just pee glitter
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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