And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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