ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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