whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
