That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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