I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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