it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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