i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
