Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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