Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
