MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
this hospital has no fireball
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
