ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
