As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
