you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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