Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
