you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
