They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
