it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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