If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
