my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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