new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
