i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
