if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
