i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
