She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
