theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
