Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm jealous of your bromance
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
