so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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