STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize