Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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