Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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