Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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