I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
did you just send me my own nude
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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