Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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