Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
