All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
