You're completely useless in the revolution.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
