Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
