I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize