How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize