i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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