Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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