Where did you get a picture of my penis
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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