All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
