She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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