I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize