I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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