Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
