All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
