Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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