You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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