I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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