Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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