win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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