i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
