that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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