Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
