Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
