is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So vagazzling was a success
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
