I'm jealous of your bromance
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
