Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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